But Aren’t You Married…?

Hey Beautiful!

Have you ever encountered a man who gave off such odd vibes, you had no choice but to ask, “But aren’t you married?”

Now sis, over the years, I have had the unfortunate experience of unknowingly dating and dealing with married men. And although I’m no expert, based on my observations, I’ve compiled a list of things you need to know, so that you don’t find yourself in that same predicament. Or if you do, what to look out for so that you can get out before getting in too deep.

So without further adieu allow me to share with you my top ten ways to know if your bae belongs to someone else:

  1. Insists on taking you out of town. – They may tell you that it’s so that they can “spend quality alone time with you”. But really, it’s easier to wine and dine you when he doesn’t have to worry about running into his wife, or any of their mutual contacts.
  2. Pays for everything in cash. – Because you can tell a lot about a person by looking at their bank and credit card statements, and he does not want his wife questioning him about any odd charges.
  3. Never answers your phone calls/Immediately sends you to voicemail, only to call you back 5-10 mins later. – He wants to be able to freely talk to you over the phone without having to speak in code.
  4. Never answers his phone in front of you. – Wifey may be calling, and he doesn’t want to say anything that may give away his secret.
  5. Never likes to take pictures with you. – In the age of social media and the internet, you may post it somewhere, and it could potentially get back to his wife.
  6. Dates are spur of the moment and rushed. – His wife comes first. So while you would like for him to make time for you, you’ll always be fit in during his spare time. And, he can’t stay out too late. He has a curfew and can’t have his wife questioning his whereabouts.
  7. Calls at weird hours. – He can only call you when his wife isn’t around or when he has a moment alone.
  8. Never spends the night. – Self explanatory. How many married men do you know of that are out here spending random nights away from home?
  9. Don’t know where he lives. – Why? So you can pop up on him? Even though he’s cheating, he’s not going further jeopardize his marriage by giving you access to where he and his wife lay their heads at night.
  10. Never brings you around friends. – People talk. And at some point it will get out that he is parading around town with someone other than his wife.

And if he ever admits to being married, please believe he will:

  1. Bash his wife to you.
  2. Say things like “I wish I was single.”
  3. Make you feel like the only girl in the world.
  4. Stall, and make up excuse after excuse about why he is not divorced.

Now one can only hide the fact that they are married but for so long. And after his secret has been uncovered, you only a few options:

  1. Walk away.
  2. Confront him and walk away.
  3. If you decide to stay, know that you will forever be his side chick. So please do not expect to hold a number one spot in life. And if in the event he does decide to leave her for you, know that how you got him, sis, is eventually how you will lose him.

As I stated in the beginning, I have had the unfortunate experience of dating men who hid their marital status, and would hate for you to have to go through the same thing. So please be sure to study these top ten reasons thoroughly. And, if you know someone who may be dating a potentially married man, do your sis a favor, and share this post with them as well.

Because after all, there are far too many men in this world, for you to be stuck on one who you constantly have to ask, “But aren’t you married?”.

xoxo, Racquel