It’s the most wonderful time of the year! And no, I am not talking about Christmas.
Temperatures are dropping. Leaves are falling. Jackets, scarves, and boots are back out. Warm drinks and crock pot meals are in heavy rotation. Autumn is officially here, and I couldn’t be more excited.
But with all of the enjoyment that fall brings, also comes the annoyance that is “Cuffing Season”. Now for those who are unfamiliar with the term, Cuffing Season is the period of time between September and Valentine’s Day, where it’s too cold to go anywhere, forcing us singles to stay in the house, longing for the warmth, companionship, and company of another being.
Which in most cases, causes blasts from the pasts to begin popping up like weeds.
I can always count on hearing from a former lover or two, or three, or five, to make their grand re-entrance into my life when the fall solstice is on the horizon. And in some cases, they will begin reaching out as early as August to beat the autumn rush.
With varying communication methods, they can do something as simple as liking/commenting on a picture from Instagram, to sliding in my DM’s, and of course, the ever popular, text message.
It’s come a point where I can now predict who I will hear from, how I will hear from them, and what they will say. And after going through this back and forth charade over the years, I have pretty much mastered the perfect reply to each.
So much so, that I want to share with you the Top Seven Cuffing Season Text Messages, with my suggested recommendations on how to handle each:
- “I miss you.”
- I’ve said this time and time again, miss is an action. If he really missed you, he would have made the effort to see and spend time with you. Rather than waiting until it was getting cold outside or when it was most convenient for him.
- “Hey big head.”
- That just reeks of desperation and improper communication/dating acumen. And the last time I checked, “Big Head” isn’t really a term of endearment.
- “What’s up stranger?”
- “Stranger” is defined as one who is strange (i.e. a foreigner, an intruder, someone who is unknown, one who does not belong, one who is not privy to something/someone), or one who is unacquainted. You’re not a “stranger” if you and that person haven’t had much communication over time. So please stop letting them refer to you as such, and please don’t fall for it.
- “Hey beautiful.. what have you been up to?”
- He’s seen your IG stories sis.. He knows.
- “Damn I see you just forgot about me.”
- Once again.. Desperation. If he comes at you with this, tell him to step his conversation skills up. That and, if he didn’t want to be forgotten, the he should have done something a little bit more memorable.
- “So what does your man have to say about..?/How’s the dating/love life?”
- Good one.. He’s trying to see if there’s a special someone in the picture so he can see what kind of chance he has. Use your discretion, love.
- “Hey! I have a question. Are you still doing..?”
- Once again.. He’s seen your IG stories, sis, he know
Now don’t get me wrong, Cuffing Season isn’t all bad, and I, in fact, know quite a few relationships that have come out this time of year. But please beware, that when it comes to the above seven text messages, gird your loins and govern yourselves accordingly my loves, so that you don’t find yourselves getting caught up, only to be cut off, once “Boning Season” arrives.
Good luck and Godspeed!