Confessions Men & Dating Single Lessons

I Don’t Want to Share You Part 1

Hey Beautiful!

Now I don’t know about you, but I’m not a big fan of sharing. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll do it, but I just believe everyone should have their own stuff. Your own food, your own clothes, your own money, and yes, your own man.

Throughout my dating history, I have come across countless men, who for whatever reason want me to share them with their girlfriends, fiancés, and wives. Now, although it is very tempting and I’ve come really close, I won’t knowingly date or deal with a married man (no judgement to those that do or will), but there have been multiple occasions where I have met someone, we hit it off fairly well, and I end up finding out through social media, that they have a wife or significant other on the side. Let’s take a look at one that stands out:

“Edward” aka “Disappearing Act”

Edward was someone who I had known for years, and was a good friend of mine. We decided to take things to the next level, and started dealing with each other romantically. Edward would tell me that I was his dream girl, could see himself married to me, etc. Well one day he disappeared, and I didn’t hear from him for two months. I was hurt, but soon got over it.

When he finally resurfaced, I asked him who the woman was that had his attention, because that was the only logical reason for him disappearing like that. His excuse was that he was falling for me and got scared, so he ran away. Skeptical of his response, I still forgave him and we picked up right where we left off.

Two months of being in a really great space, he disappeared again. I just knew there was another woman involved, and my gut was screaming that it was his son’s mother. When he resurfaced, I interrogated him, accusing him of being with someone else, only for Edward to tell me he had some personal issues going on and that he loved me. Blinded by the “L” word, I overlooked his second disappearing act, and once again, we carried on as if nothing ever happened.

Things this time were unbelievably wonderful. We were spending more time with one another, he met a few members of my family, would pick me up from work late at night, even started making plans for a future together. Until I found his Instagram profile.

Seeing that his page was public, I went to it just to see what he was posting. Of course there were pictures of his son, his family, favorite sports teams, funny memes, nothing alarming. Then I stumbled upon a picture of him at work, and saw that his son’s mother commented on it saying, “That’s right baby, make my money. I love you.” On the one hand, I thought that maybe she was referring to child support, but the “I love you” didn’t sit well with me. I then went to her page and to my surprise saw that she had another baby, this one named “EJ”. I scrolled through her page trying to find answers to the questions that were forming in my head.

Then I saw it. There was a picture of Edward holding both his son and EJ, wearing a ring on “that finger”, with caption being, “Happy Father’s Day to my wonderful husband. I hope one day our sons will be able to fill your shoes.” I looked at baby EJ to guess how old he may have been and it hit me.

EJ had to have been born around the same time as when Edward first disappeared. When he reappeared, that was probably when his wife was cleared to go back to work, and they must have made child care arrangements. This man had an entire family behind my back, and I knew nothing about it.

Saddened and angry by all of this, I ignored his calls and text messages. There was nothing Edward could say or do that would make me want to go back to him. I took about a year off from dating after that to fully heal from the hurt and betrayal.

One day, I awoke to a text message from Edward, trying to explain his side of things. Initially, I wanted to talk to him to give him a piece of my mind. But after many failed attempts at us trying to catch each other on the phone, I told him to never contact me again and to have a nice life. I immediately blocked him after that, and haven’t seen or heard from him since.

I look back on it that experience sometimes, replaying everything that went on. The signs were there but I overlooked them because I was so blinded by the fact that he was telling me all the things I wanted to hear. Love. Marriage. A future. He was selling me a dream, when all the while he was a family man expecting me to share him with his wife.

I often wonder what would have happened between us if things would have progressed even further. But thank the Lord above that I found out when I did. I could have gotten in too deep and may have accepted being the mistress to someone else husband.

I seriously dodged a bullet.

Hey Beautiful, have you ever found out someone you were feeling had a girlfriend, wife, or fiancé. Share your confession with me via the “want to be featured” tab. I want to hear from you!

xoxo, Racquel

 

(1) Comment

  1. […] if you recall from part 1, I shared my frustration with finding out about the secret girlfriends, fiancés, and wives of guys […]

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