Please enjoy the below blog post entitled “Living Ever After”, submitted by guest contributor, Ms. Ella Andre.
When you get married, it’s supposed to be forever. But what if you found yourself single after 24 years? What if you spent the majority of your adult life as someone else’s wife? How would you cope once that someone else was no longer a factor in your life? You would probably do something to make you forget the hurt and try and start anew.
My anew was picking up and disappearing.
I disappeared to another country. I picked up and left the United States and moved half way around the world to Sharjah, United Arab Emirates. Why there? Why not? At least I wouldn’t walk out the door and run into the man who tried to break me and my spirit into an unrecognizable blob.
I was living in a country where the culture was different, the people were different, the religion was different and most importantly, the men were different. I wasn’t ready to move on, but I wanted to see if the saying was true, that “men were men”. And what I found on my journey of renewing me and running away from my past, was that men are men. In every culture you will find the good and the bad. The pretenders and the wannabees. The married by convenience and the unattractive who are completely available.
When I moved to the Middle East, I got the opportunity to travel. It would have been great to have had a loved one to share that with, but what I learned about myself is that I must be a little more open to doing things outside of my comfort zone.
I spent my winter breaks in Europe and my Spring breaks in Bali, Indonesia, Malaysia and Africa. I saw the infamous Monkey Forest in Bali. I wore an abaya and a hijab while in Dubai, UAE, and got my driver’s license there so I could travel on my own. I danced with Bollywood dancers, and ate Peking duck. I got to do so many things I never thought I would do because I was so accustomed of having my other half accompany me.. Even though I could always see the distaste written all over his face.
I have lived my life, and raised two beautiful, successful children into adulthood. So this should be the time to enjoy my life. But being newly single, is like recovering from a disease. It’s like alcoholism and needing to go to meetings for support. My therapy is working out. Going to the gym at 4:15 every morning to give myself a boost, to get through my day. I also give hair tips to whoever is listening on Instagram and share my pescatarian lifestyle with the world.
Some would say that I am single by choice. I, however, disagree. I am single by circumstance. I am single because I have standards for the man I am with to be honest, genuine and true. My apologies if that is too much to ask, but those are just my requirements.
I am a work in progress trying to let my beauty shine through, and I will patiently wait until that beauty draws in another beautiful soul.