Because I never really told you all how The Art of Single came to be..
So I cannot tell you how therapeutic blogging has been for me. Not only has it opened doors, but it’s also helped me to overcome many of my internal struggles. See once upon a time, I didn’t know what it was to be transparent. The thought of revealing deep secrets about myself was foreign because I was always ashamed and afraid of what people might think.
But it got a point where I couldn’t hold it in any longer.
Back in 2012, I was a hot mess. It was a pivotal year for me, but I had to be broken all the way down before I could even get to this point. I had just walked away from my job of almost four years for what I thought was a better opportunity, was feuding with my mother really bad, had my second abortion, found out the guy the I was pregnant by was married, my uncle was incredibly sick, I was drinking heavier, and had fallen into a deep depression.
I was lost. I was scared. I was broken. I was disappointed in myself. I just didn’t know what to do.
It wasn’t until my 27th birthday, when I found myself crying hysterically for over an hour, in the ladies’ room of a lounge, that knew I needed answers about where my life was headed. I came home that night reeking of scotch, crying myself to sleep, and praying for change.
I shared my story with a former classmate, asking her to pray for me. In her response, the first thing she said, was that though I had been through a lot, it was all purposed. And that my life would change once I made it a life about helping others, and the only key to that, would be for me to forgive myself.
Oh, and she also said that she saw me helping women.
Over the years, I had held on to the fact that there was purpose behind my pain, but didn’t quite know what it was. I was also starting to accept what I had always known about myself, and that my calling in life, was helping women. But because I didn’t really know what that meant and wasn’t as intentional about figuring it out, I pretty much pushed it on the back burner.
All that changed two years ago while in LA on a business trip. I had the opportunity to have lunch with one of my good girlfriends from college, and just catch up. We decided to hang out at my hotel to talk some more, when she started telling me about her most recent break up.
Now I can’t remember everything she said, but what stuck out the most, was her looking up at me, with tears in her eyes, saying:
“Rocky, I’m broken.”
Hearing that tore me up, and led to me praying harder than I have ever prayed before. Every hour, on the hour that night, I asked God to create a platform and send me His broken daughters. I also asked that He take my pain, my experiences, my frustrations, my guilt, my hurt, and use it as a way to help and heal women.
Being that I had already been toying with the idea of starting a blog, I knew that it was what I wanted to do. But just needed to come up with the right name and theme for it. And after getting fired from my job, which was only a few days shy of Christmas, The Art of Single came to life.
I initially wanted it to be all about celebrating your singlehood, but didn’t really see much worth celebrating. I was still trapped in my brokenness and praying for a man to come along and piece me back together.
Then, after much thought, I settled on making The Art of Single all about my confessions of a single sista. I reflected on my classmate telling me years prior that there was purpose behind my pain, and me asking God to use it. That and, I grew tired of seeing other outlets catered towards single women, that were telling us what to do, but lacked transparency.
I wanted my stories, my experiences to be something that women could relate to. I wanted women to see pieces of themselves in each blog post, and know that they weren’t alone. I wanted to create a safe and healing space that encourages transparency and sisterhood amongst other single women. I wanted to inspire women to take full advantage of their single season. I wanted women to understand that the love that they desire, is first found within themselves.
But more importantly, I wanted women to not be ashamed of their past, and to see the beauty and purpose behind their deepest and most darkest places.
Since creating this platform, I have not only overcome my own brokenness, but have helped countless women with theirs. I have grown to love my painful moments, because they have birthed the best version of me yet. I have discovered a new found love within myself, and can’t wait for the day where I can share it with that special someone.
But until that time comes, I will continue to share this love, as well as my many Confessions of a Single Sista, with each and every one of you.