Confessions Single Lessons

Sprung Off the “D”

Hey Beautiful!

I had an interesting conversation with a young lady during my morning commute to work. We started out talking about the blizzard and hating having to stand on cold bus stops in the middle of it. She then proceeded to tell me about how her son’s father promised to take her to where she needed to be, but after three failed attempts at calling him, his phone mysteriously started going straight to voicemail. We laughed it off agreeing that he was trifling and should have just said he didn’t want to take her, rather than promising and then reneging without notice.

After a while she just shrugged it off, assuming that his reason for ignoring her was because he was probably laid up with his new girlfriend. Me being my nosey self, I asked how long they had been together, and she rolled her eyes saying less than a month. She then started venting about how he had their son around the new girlfriend, that she was claiming their son as her step-son, she was all of a sudden in love, oh and on top of all that, she was giving this man money to the tune of $600 and $700 when she has two kids of her own.

Now I could tell that this young lady was at least 10 years younger than me, just by seeing how baffled she was at the new girlfriend. She was in disbelief, angry, and confused as to why the new girlfriend was acting like that. I could also tell that she was still in love with her son’s father, and was worried that the new girlfriend would take away her chance of the two of them ever getting back together.

Seeing the hurt in her face, I simply told her not be threatened by the new girlfriend. She was simply sprung off the “D”. The young lady asked me if I was sure, and I told her absolutely. See, sometimes when the “D” gets a hold of you, it’ll make you do crazy things you normally wouldn’t do. That and, sometimes a woman’s desperation for the company of a man will drive them to do whatever it takes to make sure that they don’t lose them (but that’s a whole ‘nother topic for another day).

I had to tell her the story of when I was 19, dating my first “older” man (he was only 31). I met this man, who I’m going to call, Jeremy, while working my summer job selling men’s cologne on my break from college. I found him to be so captivating. By the way he carried himself, how he said exactly what was on his mind, and of course his “D”, had me completely sprung. I mean I was head over heels for Jeremy. There was nothing he couldn’t ask of me that I wouldn’t do, And after less than a month of dating, I thought I was in love with him, and I told him. Why did I do that?

Jeremy had children that I was claiming as my step kids, would give me orders, and thought nothing about asking me for money. And I foolishly obeyed and gave him whatever he wanted. I was so sprung off the “D”, I even excused and overlooked a lot of bad behaviors that I now would think nothing of calling a guy on. Jeremy and I carried on like this for the duration of the summer and into the first half of my fall semester of college. Sometime around our birthdays (they were a week apart), I began to see Jeremy for who he was. That, in addition to the fact that I wasn’t getting the “D”, allowed me time to really assess the relationship between us.

I was young, not very experienced with dating, especially older men, and the “D” was some of the best I ever had at that time. I didn’t love Jeremy, nor was I in love with him, I was in love with the things he did to my body and addicted to his presence. Being sprung off the “D” clouded my vision and had me thinking things that weren’t, doing things I shouldn’t, and putting up with behaviors I should have stopped.

When I came home for winter break, I went out with Jeremy a couple times. And after having that time away from him, his presence nor his “D” had that same hold over me. I started saying no more and thought nothing of ignoring his calls. He realized then that I wasn’t the same person he met six months prior, and I saw him for who he was. Eventually we parted ways and never spoke again.

Now I know I probably shared too much of my personal information with that young lady. But I had to break it down for her to understand what women, especially younger, inexperienced women do when they are sprung off the “D”. She thanked me for my insight as she was getting off the bus, and I told her to not be as angry with what was going on between her son’s father and his new girlfriend. And that it’ll come to an end soon enough, and he will probably find himself knocking on her door again eventually.

Reflecting on that conversation had me thinking about how many of us women, young and older, have settled for things we normally wouldn’t because of the “D”. Like how many times has the “D” been like a drug for us. Drawing us in and making us turn into people that we aren’t, just so we can keep getting it. Causing us to go back our word, making excuses, being too giving, essentially losing ourselves just get a piece of the “D”. The “D” that is probably being given to you and someone else at the same time.

Single sistas, you deserve more. You deserve better. Now don’t get me wrong there is some good “D” out here. But it’s never worth your self worth or self respect. Don’t let any “D” (good, bad, or mediocre), have you strung out here in this world, forgetting who you are, giving away all your hard earned coins, falling in love, and taking in children that are not yours. There’s nothing wrong with being sprung off the “D”, but make sure you’re sprung off the owner of the “D” and his heart first.

Hey Beautiful, ever been sprung off the “D”? Go to the “want to be featured?” tab and let me know your confession of being sprung and what you learned from it. I want to hear from you!

Xoxo, Racquel


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